I Wish I Was Cold As Stone
Then I Wouldn't Feel Afraid
Wish I Didn't Have This Heart
Then I Wouldn't Know The Sting Of The Rain
I Could Stand Strong And Still
Watching You Walk Away
I Wouldn't Hurt Like This
Or Feel So All Alone
I Wish I Was Cold As Stone
Those are the lyrics to one of my new favorite songs. I really do wish I was "cold as stone" most days. This going back out into the real world is tough. Maybe it would be better if I wasn't falling for such young guys. Not that I've really met anyone my age. I'm ready now to meet someone and have someone special in my life, I just don't know where to find him.
Not entirely happy with who I have been lately. Done a few things (after too many drinks) that really aren't in keeping with my character. Gonna have to get that under control and remember that I don't need drinking to have fun - though it certainly helps me to loosen up some. Going to the bars is tough 'cause it's always so loud I can never hear anything.
Gotta admit I did a silly thing, but it will help me with closure. I bought a bottle of Crown Royal and left it in a gift bag on his doorstep this morning after they had all gone to work. It doesn't say who it is from just says "For ". It's my way of saying goodbye and thank you for memories both good and bad. He turned into a guy I didn't know, not the same guy that originally texted me. I hope he doesn't figure out who gave it to him, if he does I will just play dumb. Would I go over there if he called me? I don't know, maybe. I do still like him and care about him a little.
Contemplating taking a letter over to Turf tomorrow at my lunch and leaving it for the new trainer of the horse I love 'cause it's a sure bet he didn't mention to them that I was interested in her.
I Wish I Was Cold As Stone
Then I Wouldn't Feel Afraid
Wish I Didn't Have This Heart
Then I Wouldn't Know The Sting Of The Rain
I Could Stand Strong And Still
Watching You Walk Away
I Wouldn't Hurt Like This
Or Feel So All Alone
I Wish I Was Cold As Stone
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